Futile Feelings
by KohakuCesia
Summary: Set before the 012 cycle of Dissidia, the story told the last moment of a warrior unknown and Kain Highwind.


_Amidst this eternal conflict between light and dark, harmony and discord, order and chaos... could love ever grew there, unknown to those whom possessed it? Could there even be love for an existance bound to be forgotten and erased from the World itself?_

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><p>"Kain..." She fell before she even reached Cosmos's throne. Her energy left her, it was too much, too harsh... a battle too bitter.<p>

"You're hurt." His deep baritone voice tried to calm the wounded woman. She lied a few steps away from Cosmos's throne, her white cape stained with blood from a huge wound in her abdomen, while her face grew paler and her breathing grew labored with each small movement she made.

"I'm... fine."

"You're not." Kain didn't wanted to argue with this woman, not now, not when she was fatally wounded and seemed as if her light could vanished any time. Any moment. Cosmos sat silently on her throne, watching her two warriors.

"Cosmos... forgive me... I," the woman went for a coughing fit for awhile before she was able to finish her words. Kain produced a bottle of potion from beneath his armor and put it to her mouth.

"Drink."

"No. Don't." She coughed again. "You need it."

"Don't be silly." Kain made the woman sat and let her leaned her body on him, while he forced the woman to drink the potion he brought out. Her eyes met his, pleading silently to those blue eyes she knew hidden beneath the dark purple dragon helmet. Kain shook his head.

"Drink."

Another order. She reluctantly open her mouth, drinking drop by drop. The potion tasted awful, but it served its purpose, the woman's wounds slowly closed with speckles of green emitted within her body. Kain heaved a deep sigh, she was stubborn even when she was about to die.

Cosmos just sat there silently, her thoughts closed to her warriors, while the woman tried to stand and face her deity. Her summoner. Her only purpose here. She fell on her knees, though, and Kain grabbed her before she could collapsed to the floor again.

"Cosmos... I am... sorry."

Cosmos lifted her head, her pale blue eyes met with the darkness of the woman's eyes. "I could sense it, it's them. Their lights are fading."

She nodded slowly, her face distorted by sadness and pain. Cosmos dropped her head, her sadness clearly shown on her face.

"Is there... no more hope?"

Silent followed, while the two Cosmos warriors dared not to voice their own despair. No matter how hard they fought, the monstrous copies of themselves -the Manikins-, always came back with a force bigger than before. Warriors of Chaos didn't need to lift a finger to finish most of them, those Manikins were more than enough.

Cosmos bowed her head deeply, "I am so sorry. I wished for this conflict to end, yet here we are, at the face of defeat and annihilation..."

She broke free of Kain's support and ran to Cosmos before kneeled directly in front of her. "No! It wasn't your fault! Cosmos, you can't be weak! If you're weak, then how can we all, your warriors, be strong?"

Cosmos lifted her head, searching the dark eyes that beseeched her to be strong. There's a strong conviction etched deep in there. A conviction, a trust, so deep that it became her strength. She shook her head slowly, her golden hair rustled softly against the transparent veil she wore. "Please, leave me alone for awhile."

"...Understood." She bowed her head once again, then stood and went back to where Kain was, standing as he watched both her and Cosmos spoke. Kain was looking at her, his expression, if there were any, was masked by his dragon helm.

"She asked us to leave."

"I see. Very well then, we should."

Both the woman and Kain went through an opened portal and found themselves on a vast plain outside the Sanctuary. She scanned her surroundings and sighed deeply.

"The view is wonderful. Too bad that we can't have a picnic right now."

"It's impossible right now. We're at war."

"Right... a war. I wish... I wish everything would just end, and everyone can find their way back home..."

"... So you want to go back as well."

"Of course."

"..."

"Kain?"

"It's nothing."

"It's not nothing, you've suddenly gone quiet. Is something the matter?"

"Do you have any memory regarding your home world?"

"Nn... now that you mention it..."

"You don't."

"Yeah..."

"Then how are you going to find your way back?"

"Cosmos said we need to find our crystal to go back and end this war, right?"

"...Right."

"Kain?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you know something... something else about the crystals, something else that we all don't know?"

"..."

She stood there, trying to analyze his face. Futile as it might seem, she wished she could see through those helmet of dragon face that covered his face. She wished she could find his true self, his heart, his kindness beneath all those armor and cold comments.

"I don't know, or... more like I'm not sure."

It was Kain's final answer, he began to walk away from the woman, heading to another gateway sealed with Chaos's insignia. He couldn't let the woman knew about his plans, not when it hadn't even come to fruition. Could it even be executed this time, he wondered, since so many of Cosmos's warriors had fallen...

"Manikins!"

And there they were, right in front of the gate. Their number was enormous, Kain and the woman understood very well that they were the only things that stood between the Manikins and Cosmos. No one could save them, everyone had their own battlefield, and this was theirs.

"So... so many?" she asked in utter disbelieve. Kain readied his lance, then he stepped forward.

"You, stay with Cosmos."

"No! I can still fight! I will fight with you!"

"There's no use arguing. What would happen if Cosmos fell? There's no telling that these Manikins only came from this gateway."

"No! I can't let you do this alone!"

"You're quite stubborn, aren't you?"

"Are you not?"

Kain sighed heavily, "Very well. But when it seems too much, go back to Cosmos."

"You must come to Cosmos with me. We will face this together."

"I will."

She summoned her gilded sword, engraved with runic symbols. She knew Kain too well. She knew Kain would not return to Cosmos with her. She knew that Kain would make an opening for her to go back to the Sanctuary, but then he would defend the opening with his life. But now wasn't the time to think about later. She saw familiar faces or silhouettes within the hordes of Manikins. Shadows of her enemies, as well shadows of her friends.

Kain dashed forward and began slashing the Manikins apart. She readied her spells, charging them to their strongest capabilities and releasing blasts of heat, clearing Kain's path while he danced in the air, tearing those that brave enough to face him in the air. She prepared another charge when she saw Kain fell down, beated by four Manikins at once.

"Kain!"

She released her almost-fully-charged spell and it exploded with enormous amount of energy and heat, clearing her path. But Kain was still quite a distance from where she was. She danced in the middle of the Manikins, tried to fence them off while crying Kain's name. The Manikins grew more ferocious, while she tried to reach Kain in any way she could, firing prematurely charged spells to all direction.

"What are you doing?"

She heard him. He hacked a few Manikins that stood between them and he stood at her back, while the Manikins surroundered them in a circle. She charged a spell and a wall of fire rose to the sky, holding off the Manikins for a short while.

"Kain! You're safe!"

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" Kain shook her viciously. "You're wounded! And you..."

He couldn't finished his words. She hugged him tightly, while the fire spat destruction and heat to any Manikin that dared to approach the wall. Silence engulfed them for a short while, and for a moment there was nothing they could say to each other, only the sound of blazing flames and Manikins' distorted screams filled the air.

"... Don't think by doing this you'd be forgiven."

"I don't ask for forgiveness."

"You know that this is..."

"Say what you want. I only know that it is real."

"... I won't remember you. And you won't remember me, either. This, this feeling... it will be gone. And if one of us remembers..."

"Would never be able to endure the pain?"

Kain fell silent. "I... I can't. There is someone."

She let him go, then looked at him straight on the eyes. She almost could feel his pain. She nodded her head, then readied her sword. The flames begun to flicker and fade away. The short respite had to end.

"... I am sorry."

"It's alright, I understand," she tried to reply with her usual carefree tone, but she knew that her voice sounded hollow and creaking. She charged her healing spell and cast it at Kain, praying that the spell would heal most of his wounds. And if it's possible, heal those wounds on his heart as well...

"I am sorry."

Then the Manikins suddenly came at them, brandishing their weapons and attacking them at the moment the fire wall came down. She charged her strongest spell and released them to five different directions. It touched a number of Manikins and exploded loudly, while at her back, she could hear Kain danced off with the Manikins.

She could feel her energy draining. Some high class spells had took its toll on her body. And the healing spell was another blow to her already weakened body. There's no more hope... she knew she couldn't battled forward anymore. And her heart... it was bloodied as well. It would be nice if she could just forget Kain next time...

Next time? Could there be next time? If there was 'next time', then there should be 'last time'...

She froze and took a blow from a Manikin to her back. She could hear Kain yelling her name, but it was too late. The Manikins beat her senseless, while she had no more power to actually land another hit with her spell nor her sword. She knew it. It was her end, but... but she didn't want Kain to end just like her. Slaughtered by Manikins, it's just too cruel...

_Cosmos... if you could hear my plea... please... send my light for Kain... let him live on..._

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><p>"A warrior's voice... you asked me to give your light? But you could never return if your light vanished..."<p>

"I understand... then it will be as your wish."

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><p>No matter how long I called her name, she was no longer here. Her light faded, her body crumbled into nothing but dust, only her memories remained. Her smile, her laughs, our time together, battles we had fought...<p>

I failed to save her. I wanted to. I tried. But I failed. I could only watch as she disappeared among the Manikins. Could this be despair?

There's no use for love in battlefields. I used to say that. She died because of love, but it was love that sustained her through this endless battle and struggle. Her love... that gave her madness and courage, strength and weakness, power and desperation. I knew that my time had come. The sky was no longer cloudly, I could see the yellowish light enveloped the world, while the Manikins screamed and perished under the light.

_I... want to remember her. Please... let me kept these memories._

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><p><em>And so the cycle went on, summoning new warriors in place of the fallen ones. Those who were defeated, their souls purified, emptied of their memories and feelings. Even feelings for someone precious was erased... there was no need for love in a battlefield. One test had prove that.<em>

_Now, let the new cycle began..._


End file.
